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[behindmothersback]

There's so many things to see, Father, I can hardly take all of them in. The last few days, you've helped me learn so much about this world, but today I'm exploring on my own, without any kind of escort. It feels so strange to be able to go anywhere I like, whenever I like, and while the open spaces make me nervous if I'm in them for too long, I make myself go further and further each day. Today, I'm visiting the shops at the place called the mall. It's a bit like I remember Fort Frolic being once upon a time, only instead of casinos and theatres there are clothes and food and devices and books, oh, the books! I could read all day, but this won't be that day. And the people, it's mostly children, a few families and so many children my age I can hardly believe it.

I've already gone to one clothing shop, it was a little embarrassing because I've never shopped like that before and I had to ask for help. The sales girl was kind, though, and oh-so helpful. There was so much to look at and try on, and each item in so many different colors, like I've never seen in Rapture. I think she was afraid I might never leave. But she sure was happy when I paid my bill and packed up all of my bags. I'm even wearing some of what I purchased. Trousers in something called leopard-print, a vest, and white shirt underneath. I'm off to get shoes next, and a coat. I can't continue to go clomping around in my diving boots, can I? And while the cold isn't bothering me too much, I've received some very strange looks walking around without a coat.

There's a map of the building in the corridor and I'm looking at it closely, trying to locate a place to purchase shoes when I feel someone brush against me. I'm ashamed of what happened next, Father. I can't help it, it's still instinct, and I spin, sprinting a few feet out of the way, almost faster than a person could see. My bags fell to the ground and the brightly-colored clothes spilled out all over the ground.

Comments

[fuck_it]

Chris hasn't really got any money for the mall, but he's there anyway. Olive's got school and Eduardo's got work, so otherwise he's just sitting around the house on his own, and there's not much that's fuckin' sadder than that.

He's stopped at the map, not even really noticing that there's someone else there until she runs off, dropping her bags at his feet.

"Hey... you dropped all your stuff," Chris says, not sure what the fuck's going on. Should he be running off too?

[behindmothersback]

I curse myself for my foolishness, stopping when I'm a man's-length away from him. I keep running, Father, is that all I know? Can I really, truly stop myself? I have to try. You said we were safe, far safer than Rapture at any rate, and that we can have a life here. A real life in the sun where we don't have to hide and run from anyone we don't know.

I force myself back, kneeling to start scooping all my purchases back into my bag. "I'm so sorry, you startled me and..." I suppose I should be glad that I didn't teleport to the other end of the hall, shouldn't I? I think that would have me in trouble right now.

[fuck_it]

"Sorry, I was just lookin' at the map, yeah?" Chris replies, and bends over to help her pick up her stuff.

He doesn't get why anyone would get scared from his just walking up next to them, but different people are from different places, so maybe just that is scary where she comes from.

[behindmothersback]

"Thank you." It's nice that he's helping me. The people here are nice, Father, so nice that I don't know how to respond to it. Maybe I should have brought you with me, but I wanted to do this by myself. To prove that I could manage here. "I'm... I'm not used to places like these, I thought I was alright but I..."

Why am I babbling? It's as if I feel I owe him an explanation, but I don't think I do, do I?

[fuck_it]

"What d'you mean? Malls?" he asks, "I don't really go to them either, but there's shit to do here during the day, you know?"

And he's definitely not gonna sit around watching television all day. It fuckin' rots your brain, he's convinced.

[behindmothersback]

"Um, well, everything, actually. I was somewhat... sheltered as a child." I'm not lying, Mother kept me quite apart from the other children of Rapture, despite my attempts at making friends behind her back. And as a Sister, you were my only companion until Mother locked me away again.

Perhaps it is that ignorance that confuses me as to why he doesn't have things to do during the day. "You don't go to school, or work?"

[fuck_it]

"Chucked out of school," Chris replies, putting a top back into one of her bags. That was a long time ago, really. Even before the island, it'd been months since that meeting at Roundview and being kicked out of his student flat.

"Don't think I really want a job just yet. Not sure what'd I'd do, really."

[behindmothersback]

I can't even imagine it, not having something to do. I can't wait to start school here once I'm settled, to meet other kids my age, well, more than the ones I've met already. There's an entire city full of them now. I know, that's likely just me and I can't expect everyone to feel the same way, but it's still... surprising. He should want to do something shouldn't he? Doesn't everyone?

"Can't you just try things until you find something you like? Isn't that how it works?" I finish rearranging my bags and stand, hoping my question isn't considered rude. I've been asking all manner of questions to all manner of people and I don't always have the best results.

[fuck_it]

"Do you not have to interview for stuff where you come from?" Chris asks, confused. Yeah, maybe he could try something he likes— whatever that may be— but Chris has found he's not really going to get anywhere without a CV or interviewing for positions.

And as it is, his CV's a bit shit.

"That's how it works, really. You've gotta have like... qualifications."

[behindmothersback]

"I... don't know. I've never needed a job myself and my mother, well, I know you need degrees and things to be professionals, but there are plenty of jobs that don't need them." I saw them all the time, especially after mother was taken away, in a city like this, there are always jobs that don't require much training. "Don't you start there and... work your way up? Like at one of these stores, I've seen them, they have signs up."

[fuck_it]

Chris glances over her shoulder at one of the shops, one that sells shoes, and he frowns.

"Dunno if i'd like that, though. And you said it should be something you like, yeah?" Chris says, thinking back to how shit he was at selling houses. It'd probably be the same with shoes or clothes or ice cream or whatever else.

"Hey, but what about you? You haven't got school?"

[behindmothersback]

"I hope so. I think I'm starting next week." I'm excited and worried about school all at the same time. I want to meet new people, I do, but at the same time... I've never done anything like this, so normal and mundane. I do hope that I can make you proud, whatever else happens.

Holding up the bags, I manage what is probably a rather sheepish grin. At least that's how it feels. I'm a little embarrassed to be admitting this but, "I need clothes and things first. I'm somewhat new and I didn't really have anything with me when I arrived."

[fuck_it]

"No way? You're new?" Chris asks, and his expression brightens a bit at that, "When'd you get here?"

He's glad that he isn't the one who had to give her the speech about the city and all, but this is the fun bit. Because there's the free money and the new flat, and it's brilliant. That is, unless you get yourself kicked out of your flat.

[behindmothersback]

"Just a few days ago. I... everyone's been very nice." I'm still not certain what to make of that, it's so different from what I'm used to. I can count on one had the number of people who were very kind to me in Rapture, here I have yet to meet someone unkind. Why does that make me nervous? Do I really, deep down inside, think that everyone has the capacity for such cruelty as I've witnessed?

"But I'm still adjusting to, well, everything I guess."

[fuck_it]

"Like talkin' to people?" Chris asks, though there's still a grin on his face. The way she nearly ran off just 'cause he'd come up next to her at the map makes him think maybe she's not used to all that stuff. That's alright though.

"M'Chris," he says, and holds out his hand for her to shake.

[behindmothersback]

I feel like a fool, but I know I'm not. I know it will take time, I know that the habits of a lifetime can't be erased in days, but it doesn't change embarrassment I feel. My face must be so red as I take his hand and introduce myself. "Eleanor Lamb. And yes, I... I haven't known many people."

It's the truth and yet it doesn't even begin to explain why I initially ran. Why just having someone brush up against me was so frightening when I didn't expect it. I lace the vocabulary to explain it even to you, let alone a stranger.

[fuck_it]

"It's cool," he replies, and the grin hasn't left his face, "I hadn't met anyone from America until few years ago. S'just the way it is. innit?"

Now it's where two of his best mates are from. A few years back, he never would've guessed that'd be the case.

"And besides, now there's just one more you know."

[behindmothersback]

"There is." It is simple math if nothing else, isn't it? I now know one more person and I nod because he is right.

"And I'm sorry, again, for jumping like that. I... I'd like to make it up to you, could I buy you a soda or something?" Is that right, is that what people do? "Perhaps you wan tell me more about this world, I really don't know much about it."

[fuck_it]

"Yeah, alright," Chris replies, without much hesitation at all. He's not exactly broke right now-- though he nearly blew what he's supposed to use for the whole week on some tabs of E the other night-- but he's not gonna pass up the offer for a free drink.

"Whatever you want to know about this place," he points at himself with his thumb, "I'm your man."

[behindmothersback]

Taking my bags back in hand, I start moving towards where I remember there was a number of places to eat. I know my memory is good, Mother used to praise it all the time, so I'm not worried that I'll go wrong.

"Does it ever get warm here?" I'm not really that picky, but it would be nice to be warm. The ocean is so cold, but then you know that, I just think it would be nice to not have to wear so many coats and layers.

[fuck_it]

"It hasn't since I've been here," Chris says, "But I reckon we've only got to give it a few months."

It's not going to be like the island, he knows, but eventually, it'll stop being so cold every day. Or at least, that's what he's been told.

[behindmothersback]

"So there are... seasons, here?" I've heard of them, but never seen them. Do you remember seasons, Father, from when you were above the ocean? I've always wanted to see spring, is it like Arcadia, with all the flowers and trees green and blooming?

The food court is busy, and I look around for something that has the shortest line. "Is there any place in particular you like?"

[fuck_it]

"This one's alright," he says, gesturing toward the shortest line. It's a place that looks like it serves soft pretzels, but since they're only going for a Coke, it' snot like it matters much. Unless they put salt in the drinks, which Chris doesn't think anyone does, not even people in Darrow, where everything's all weird most of the time.

"D'you mean you've never seen seasons? Autumn and the way the leaves go all kinds of colors? It's brilliant."

[behindmothersback]

"No. We... didn't have seasons where I lived. It was a very controlled environment." Rapture couldn't afford the yearly die-off. Somewhere in my head were the actual calculations, but the volume of oxygen produced by Arcadia was always closely monitored. I know these things, but never know exactly who they come from. Some worker in Arcadia, a mechanic of the vents in Hephaestus, someone knew these things and they were put inside me.

"I've always heard the seasons were beautiful. I hope I can see Spring."

[fuck_it]

"That's the next one after this," Chris tells her, "The one with all the flowers and stuff. It's brilliant."

It's been a while since he's seen a spring, actually. It was nearly always summer on the island, and even when it wasn't that was only because they were getting snow or the whole place was turning into candy or something. Maybe this year he'll get to see like... baby animals and stuff.

[behindmothersback]

We're waiting in line, we should have our drinks soon, but there's so much I want to ask. So much I want to know. This is the first person my age, or close to it, that I've really talked to. More than just introductions or nods in the hall. Which reminds me, while I'm in the mall I should get something for Juno, she was so nice to me when we met and it's traditional, isn't it? Gifts for impending births? That's more knowledge I shouldn't have but do. But I'll just have to remember later. Now, well, now I have other questions.

"What's your favorite part? What's it really like?"